2020 Election’s Win was Bittersweet
Biden’s win was a relief, but had emotionally eroded the relationship between my mother and I.
I was walking through Brooklyn Flea when the news broke. People began cheering and I admittedly was confused — perhaps they were cheering for marathon runners or breast cancer walkers. It had slipped my mind that the most important race was still running on day five and a state was just called — Joe Biden had just won Pennsylvania.
The Years, Months, Days Before
I had spent the first five months of Trump’s first term studying abroad in Singapore, and spent the last year and a half studying abroad in China. It’s fair to say that I’ve only been in the States for half his term, but I couldn’t tell you which was worse — being here in person and feeling the brute of his presidency with fellow Americans, or being abroad alone and hearing the ridicule of other nations on our president. It was painful either way.
But since 2016, I knew the 2020 election was one that I wanted to share in person with my fellow Americans and COVID somehow allowed for that to happen (I’m supposed to be abroad this year). 2020 is funny in that way.
This election was more than politics, it was a fight between the difference of right and wrong. I don’t normally see politics as just white or black, but this election was just not the same. My sister and I signed up to be poll workers, and I made sure my family were all registered and ready to vote. There was no need for this racist, sexist and hateful man to be our president for four more years.
Yet despite all my efforts, I never would have thought I’d need to prove this point to my mother.
Up to a certain point, my mother had decided she would not vote in the election because she did not support either candidate. Fair, that was her choice but my sisters and I encouraged her to still cast her vote because it was important. I never would have thought she would vote for Trump — the villain in all of our stories. Her reasoning was twisted because she, like many others, fell for Trump’s rhetoric . Trump’s rashness and divisiveness was taken by her as a sign of strength and masculinity, and she admired his “leadership” at these times. Trump’s decision to send the army to fight against the BLM protestors was taken by her as a sign of protecting the American people. My mother, like others who voted for Trump, all have a strong ideology of protecting and wanting the best for the American people. But the “American people” in their world are the white Americans and privileged minorities.
My mother didn’t always like Trump. For a while, it was my dad who supported Trump and my mom who didn’t. But it was Kamala Harris who changed my mother’s views. She hated Harris’ views on police, same-sex marriage and marijuana, falsely stating that Harris corrupted the young adults in California. She believed Harris’s progressive views would ruin us all and feared that Biden’s old age would guarantee Harris to be president.
It’s hard to admit but I think my mother, underneath all of that, disliked that Harris was a woman too. As a woman growing up in a traditional Chinese household, I was taught where a woman’s place was suppose to be and it was not in government. I was also taught women were just not suitable to be in position of power because they were not strong enough to make hard decisions, like go to war, and they would not be seen as equal by leaders of other countries. I wonder, if Biden’s running mate was a male, if my mother would have felt otherwise.
I tried everything I could — describing her hypothetical situations, showing her the facts, rationalizing with her but she would still not listen to me. She dismissed my views and arguments by discrediting my education and stating that I was too young to understand her views. She listened to only her friends or WeChat, a platform that lets false articles runs wild through circulation, and would turn a deaf ear to me. There’s no “talking” or “reasoning” with my mom — in our household, filial piety governs the dynamics of our conversations. For the better sake of our relationship, we avoided politics in our daily conversations as we both eagerly awaited Election Day.
Two Different November Days
I remember 2016’s election day vividly. I was with my roommate at the time, panicking in our rooms as we watched the results roll in. We closed our laptops around 1 a.m. when Clinton lost Pennsylvania because by then, we knew she would not win the election. The next morning was cloudy and cold, and there was a deep somber in the air that fell over the campus. Students peacefully protested the results in the common areas, most of them crying in disbelief.
Most of my professors canceled class that day, but I did end up going to one class. My professor had absorbed our facial expressions as we each walked in and allowed us to talk about our thoughts and feelings of the then-new reality. We were all shocked at Trump’s win and were scared as to what should be expected. Fast forward four long years later and I could only say his presidency has been just tumultuous.
Today’s win was different, and it seemed only right that Pennsylvania would deliver the final verdict again. I was with a loved one, enjoying a stroll through Brooklyn on a sunny, warm November day — weather suited for joyous and hopeful news. When the news broke, people began hugging one another, others cried and someone began to play “We are the Champions” — a suitable choice for a victory like this.
But this win was bittersweet. For friends and family reading this article, challenging the views of ones we loved is the hardest and sometimes there’s no reward in the end. It is hard being unable to share the joy of Biden’s win with my mother. The last few months was an emotional turmoil between my mother and I — we fought, we cried and we failed to find common ground. I still am at discomfort knowing where she stands on certain things but I’ve learned to accept our differences for now. The election result was not in her favor, but I hope the next four years would teach her and his supporters that our country can be governed with inclusiveness, kindness and acceptance, and not on fear and bigotry.
And for many of us, Biden wasn’t the president we ideally wanted, but I remain hopeful that America returns to good hands under his leadership. The transfer of power will undoubtedly be a rough transition point for us Americans, but knowing that Biden won at least shows us that there is still enough good in America to move forward.
This election was a big one for democracy, and I waited four years to finally say it feels okay to be an American again.
